Gerard A Lacey
King Of Rhymes
King of Rhymes is a laugh-out-loud poetry collection packed with sharp wit, clever wordplay, and real-life humor. Featuring hundreds of poems written over more than a decade, it transforms marriage, family, work, aging, and everyday chaos into relatable, memorable verse you’ll want to read—and share—again and again.
About the Book
King of Rhymes is a lively, humorous poetry collection that celebrates everyday life through sharp observation, clever wordplay, and unapologetic honesty. Packed with hundreds of poems written over more than a decade, this book turns ordinary moments into laugh-out-loud reflections on marriage, relationships, aging, work, family, and the absurdities we all encounter.
At its heart, King of Rhymes thrives on relatable husband-and-wife banter, blending comedy with genuine affection. From domestic mishaps and social situations to personal growth and heartfelt reflections, the poems move effortlessly between humor and sincerity, making this collection both entertaining and surprisingly touching.
About the Author
Gerard A Lacey
Hi all! My name is Gerard A Lacey, and I’ve been writing my poems
since about 2011. My beautiful wife Kathleen, a retired nurse, and I
have been married for 34 years, and we have 2 grown children: our
daughter Kaitlin and son Tommy. As a retired Township employee,
my writing opportunities have increased over the past 4 years or so.
This is my first book, and I hope all of you enjoy it and share my
poems at your parties and get-togethers like I did many years ago.
Poems
WASHED ASHORE
Our cruise ship sunk — a deserted island — who’d thunk
Stuck at sea — in the water we met
Crashing waves — one cigarette
I hunted for food — handcrafted a spear
She asked for a menu — I chugged my last beer
Handcrafted huts — no Lowe’s in sight
Bamboo walls — I crafted all night
Months have passed — separate lodging
Far from subtle — it’s me she’s dodging
Online dating — she met a gent
Her ship came in — I charge them rent
I'VE POPPED HER CORKS
And poured her wine — handpicked her grapes — right off the vine
I’ve cooked her meals — and washed her clothes
Scrubbed her floors — bought plants at Lowe’s
I weed her garden — and buy her bling
I stand and clap — when I hear her sing
Her walls I paint — and wax her car
Carry her clubs — as she makes par
I do what I’m told — her friend in the back
A brand new Pit Bull — ready to attack
His name is Get’m — enough said
She gives me a wink — as she pets his head 🤷♂️♂️
HER LEASE IS UP
Her Swiffer is worn — I’ll trade it in
Her heart is torn
She loved her Swiffer — she racked up the miles
Her task at hand — not always with smiles
High-end models — two-tone paint
A backup alarm — she calls me a Saint
Headlights are on — high beams work great
My Swiffer Queen — now works late
SHE MEANDERS TO THE KITCHEN
Quiet as a mouse — not a creature is stirring
Such a silent house
The silence is broken — quiet it’s not
Muffled temptations — chocolates she’s got
A secret drawer — her private stash
Crinkled wrappers — hid in the trash
Back in the living room — trying not to chew
Obvious to me — my attention she drew
I strike up a conversation — it’s looking bleak
She flips me the bird — unable to speak 🤷♂️♂️
THE LIGHT TURNS GREEN
But no one’s going —
Cars lined up — traffic not flowing.
Horns are honking — middle fingers raised —
The light now red — and someone’s unfazed.
Once again — the light turns green —
And all at once — on horns they lean.
More cars arrive — the number just grew —
Heads out the window — more than a few.
I’ve dotted the i’s — and crossed all the T’s —
A peek in the mirror — lots of detainees.
Road rage occurs — I’ve finished my poem —
My windows are tinted — they followed me home.
Chapter 1
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Chapter 2
Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry’s standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book.
Chapter 3
Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry’s standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book.
Chapter 4
Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry’s standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book.
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